so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
