So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
