OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
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She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..