Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees