i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life