I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
honey bunches of taint.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.