i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
