he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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