i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
