Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
