Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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