I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
