I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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