I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
