So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
