playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
