I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
