Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
