i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
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I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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