Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
