Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she told me i tasted like america
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
