Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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