I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
