i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
