I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize