Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
