if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
as a side note pls kill me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
