I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we have officially lost it.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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