Sry I called you an 8
Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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