Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
