There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
