They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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