Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
