North Korea, Best Korea!
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
