According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize