remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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