What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
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drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
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Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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