Me. At least after what I've been through.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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