Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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