Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
