I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
