I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
