i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
