Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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