There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
