thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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