I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
