i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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