Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize