is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
