either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
