I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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