...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
