my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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