You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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