If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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