ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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