Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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