I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
