Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
