She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
