he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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