Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Well I just put wine in my tea
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
