this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
